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YOU



YOU

Monday,09 April 2012
21:00 p.m.
            It was a cold night. The wind blowed fastly. And the rain fell hardly. I lived in a crowded town. I lived without any relatives. I was free, but I was in a great trouble. I was just like a piece of thin paper. I had been born to be unused people.
            Listen to me! I wanted to meet You. I wanted to see You. Could we make a promise to meet somewhere? But how could we make a promise? We had never seen You before. Where were You? Did You hide yourself in the child’s shoes? Oh.. I was almost hopeless.
This night I was walking alone in the rain. The way was crowded but I did not care. I did not care anything. I was soaked in the rain. I let my body to be a friend of the rain. Every body saw me. Maybe they thought that I was crazy. Hahahaha..... Crazy? Yes alright, I was crazy.
            I had lost my way of life since I was born in the world. I had no life goal and guidance. During that time I searched for You. Even I missed You although we had never seen You before. But I would never tired. I would always search for You. I did not care. I did not care anything.
            The rain became very and very heavy. My body was very wet. All of my clothes that I wore was very wet. I was too cold. My lip became blue. My eyes were red and my head was dizzy. Maybe my body had been enough in pain. I tied up my tousled long hair and I just went straight. And then I stopped under the town lamp. I tasted the rain and I had been immune with the coldness. I had a new friend: coldness.
I looked around me. I only saw the crowd, but I did not see You! I felt so tired, but I would not surrender. I had spent my life for many years just for You. Hey, would you not come to me? Did You not see me? You never cared of me. Was I too ugly and poor to know You? Thousands of questions about You had filled my mind. Even, there was not enough space in my mind.
Suddenly, a cute man approached me. He had sharp  eyes. The drops of rain trickled down from the tip of his pointed nose. His long coat was wet with the rain. When he looked at me, I felt that I had recognized him for a long time. Actually, I had never seen him before. We saw each other from a few minutes.
“Rumi, what are you doing here?,” he asked me.
Oh.. I was surprised. He knew my name. He called me “Rumi”. How could he know my name? I kept silent. I only saw his eyes and then I left him. But he pulled my hands strongly. His strong hands were too strong for me. I tried to let me free from his hands. I was so angry. I kicked him rudely. Finally, he let me free. I ran away quickly. I broke through the rain. You were always in my mind. I would search for You until I could not breathe. My life was not peaceful without You. Lifeless. Yes, I was lifeless. Only me. I was the only person who did not know You. It was silly! I would not burnt in fire.
***
Thuesday,10 April 2012
00:00 a.m.
            The rain stopped. My body was still wet. I sat on the fence of the bridge. My crumples jacket covered my body. This town was still crowded and it would always alive like my desire. I would always search for You.
            I looked at the bottom of the river. The current was still. But I could not see it clearly. At that time, I felt like water. I was only brought by the flow. I had no certain direction. But, actually I had known that You were my main direction. Why did You not give me a chance to meet You?
            I walked again. I walked along the street. My thought about You had conquered my frightened. I saw nobody although the way was still crowded. The vehicles ran to and fro. They made a noise.
            When I arrived at the crossroad, I was surprised to find a little girl who was sleeping soundly under the fir tree. I was very sorry to see her. Her small body was covered with a thick blanket. Did you know? Her blanket was a cardboard. That girl’s condition touched my heart. But I could do nothing. I had nothing. I was sorry, dear. I only wished you would be happy in your future.
            It was 04:00 a.m. The day was still early in the morning. I wondered to see many people walked somewhere. They were ten people. Four men wore strange trousers. The trousers were black and white checked pattern. And the three children were in white shirt and long trousers. Each of them wore a small thing like a hat on his head too. I was interested in following them. It was a big question for me to see three women wore very strange clothes. Their clothes were white and big in size. They covered all of their body except their faces and hands. I followed them secretly.
            Oh… My body trembled. I almost fainted. They entered the building on one side of the road. That building was very big and wide. I read the name plate in front of this building “MASJID AL-IKHLAS”. I was speechless. I stood up near the fence of that building for a moment. And then I staggered to enter that building. I was crying loudly. Everybody looked at me strangely but I didn’t care. I had found You here. Yes, I found You. I found my life goal. I found You, My God.

 Klaten,    April 2012 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Hensatiti Niken Pratiwi 

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